What happens when you get married, have kids and sink into life?
Well, quite a few things as we know. But one of the biggest that gets overlooked is the relationship that brought this family to life in the first place.
The mama and papa.
When we started reproducing, our life took a different turn. Which it should.
Everything was about our first born. It was a huge change and one we embraced. But what we let slip away was our time together, our alone time.
We lived far away from our family, however we did have an amazing nanny, one that loved our child like her own. I know this sounds crazy, but there are angels out there in the world like her and we were so lucky to have her in our lives.
Yet, we never took advantage of it, in a good way, to go out. We found one excuse after another of why that isn’t a good idea.
Our son was 3.5 years old and we had come to a point in our relationship that we truly lost each other. And we came to the brink of almost getting a divorce.
When this whole thing was going on, and it was one of the worst times of my life, we both realized that we haven’t had a conversation about what we love and who we are and what brought us together in the first place in over twto years.
We haven’t gone out to simply get a beer and just enjoy being with one another.
And before we knew it, we have grown apart completely.
The worst part about it all, is that somehow you get into such a horrible routine, pattern, that you become completely led by autopilot, until one of you wakes up and shocks the other person by saying, ‘This isn’t working’ and the other person wakes up with such a hit on the head that it’s hard to describe.
When you marry, you don’t realize, you need to keep it going, not only for yourself and your spouse, but for the family.
If there is no more passion, love, romance, excitement between the two of you, your kids will grow up thinking this is normal. The death, even though it looks like you are alive, was a normal way to move through life.
Even though, this was one of the toughest, darkest times of my life, it had brought sooo much life to us.
Gratefully, we found each other again. And I will be honest, we fell in love more than we had before. It didn’t happen immediately, it took over two years to heal and mend. However, it truly kicked us in the ass and gave us such life to ourselves and our relationship.
We vowed that we would find time for each other.
Granted it’s not possible as much as we want, but it can happen with creativity.
Since our son was only five when we reunited, we had started to ‘take advantage’ of our nanny. And it was great.
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